Cinema Supercollider
By Cinema Supercollider
Cinema SupercolliderMar 19, 2024
Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015)
A smutty film based on the smutty book based on Twilight. It stars Dakota Johnson's nipples, Jamie Dornan's abs, and long drawn-out contract negotiations. It's heartily disliked by the actual BDSM community because of its depiction of this paraphilia being based on questionable consent, and on old fashioned notions that kinks are based on psychological problems, or childhood trauma. We watched it so you don't have to!
Kind of boring for a super-horny picture.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Parts 1 & 2
In this classic episode, we finish our journey through the Twilight Saga with the Breaking Dawns, or Bella and Edward Play a Lot of Chess, Break a Bed and Have an Uncanny Valley Baby. Also, the best sequence in the entirety of the franchise happens... but it's all just a dream.
Double Team (1997)
What do you get when you mix Jean Claude Van Damme, Mickey Rourke, and flakey NBA forward Dennis Rodman, blend them with 1960s cult television show The Prisoner, and garnish with a Bengal Tiger?
You get this surprisingly entertaining cinematic cocktail that goes down smooth with no bitter after-taste!
Twilight: New Moon (2009) & Twilight: Eclipse (2010)
In this classic episode, we continue our journey through the Twilight Saga with the next two movies - New Moon and Eclipse! They're REMARKABLE (hee hee heee heeeeeee).
Daddy - O (1958)
Between discussions about performing on tiny stages, wretched autoimmune skin diseases, and burlesque artistry, we discuss the 1958 beatnik/rock-n-roll/drag racing/drug dealing/ film noir starring Dick Contino, the greatest accordion player in history.
There's racing! Romance! Sexist threats! Pizza! Goons! An apple! and so much more in this black and white classic of the drive-in era!
Twilight (2008)
In this classic episode, we start our journey through the Twilight Saga, with the first movie in the sparkle vampire versus wolfboy tale of romance. Eric absolutely loves these, but will claim it's only because of the Rifftrax versions (sure Eric... we believe you)
They Call Me Macho Woman (1989)
The woman gets macho after 100 minutes of running around Southern California.
Because That's How You Get Ants
In this classic episode, we take a look at two ant-centric sci fi movies - THEM (1954) and Phase IV (1974)! One has lots of exploding ants (and everything) and might possibly just be about communism and the other has super smart hive mind ants that want to take over the world. Either way, we welcome our insect overlords.
B-Fest 2024 Double Feature Hard Rock Zombies (1985) Wonder Women (1973)
An '80s hair-metal band become zombies and defeat Hitler, and a sweaty, greasy Ross Hagen infiltrates an island of sexy women to rescue a Jai Alai player for an insurance company. Both thrilling pictures on this special episode of Cinema Supercollider dedicated to Chicago's B-Fest 2024.
Vamp (1986)
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1986 vampire horror movie, Vamp! The best part about this film is that Grace Jones is in it as a sexy vampire dancer. The worst part about this film is that Grace Jones is only in it for about 10 minutes.
After Last Season (2009)
After Last Season is to movies what rusty bed springs are to sponge cake.
The Avengers (1998)
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1998 action adventure film, The Avengers! Yay for superheroes! Wait... not those Avengers? Nope. We're looking at the dreadful movie adaptation of the excellent 1960's British spy show starring Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman. It does have Sean Connery in a bear mascot costume, so it has that going for it.
Suitable Flesh (2023)
Eric is disappointed, and Megan sends Barbara Crampton and Heather Graham to Horny Jail for being in this lackluster adaptation of an H.P. Lovecraft short story.
Hausu (House)
In this classic episode, we talk about the 1977 experimental horror film, Hausu (House)! Gal pals take a trip to the countryside and are terrorized by the supernatural, including a finger eating piano.
Ragdoll (1999)
The leader of a '90s hip hop group enlists the help of "Shadowman" and his cute little killer rag doll. Terrible script and awful acting save this so-bad-it's-good picture from being a bore.
Logan's Run
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1967 science fiction classic, Logan's Run! Getting old? DIE.
The Mangler (1995)
Delightfully stupid and random film version of a Steven King short story about a huge laundry machine that's possessed by a demon. Goofy and terrible picture from director Tobe Hooper.
Killer Sofa
A deadly dybbuk in the form of a lusty lay-z-boy murders many in this classic story of boy meets recliner meets girl.
Sssssss
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1973 horror/sci fi snake movie, Sssssss! An oblivious lab assistant gets secretly experimented on by a mad scientist (what else) fixated on turning humans into snakes, with surprising results. Come for the Strother Martin, stay for the Dirk Benedict.
Brain Damage
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1988 comedy horror movie, Brain Damage, written and directed by Frank Henenlotter! A heartwarming film about a boy in New York that wakes up one morning covered in blood to Aylmer the penis parasite. The two team up and what follows is a drug fueled romp full of hallucinations and brain eating...
Clash of the Titans
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1981 original and 2010 remake of Clash of the Titans! It's time to RELEASE THE KRAKEN
Snowpiercer
In this classic episode, we take a look at our white whale (dusted in snow and stupidity), Snowpiercer! Just like the Polar Express, it's covered in snow, filled with improbable leaps of logic, and RUNS ON CHILDREN.
The Polar Express
Rubbery Tom Hanks takes an animated train through uncanny valley, up to the North Pole so a handful of rubbery kids can meet Santa Claus.
White Christmas
In this classic episode, we take a look at Megan's favorite holiday movie, White Christmas. Grab your late night buttermilk and liverwurst sandwiches and get ready for some wholesome song and dance routines (except that one that did not age well at all and we will not speak of).
Holiday In Handcuffs
When TV's Sabrina the Teenage Witch kidnaps TV's A. C. Slater, all kinds of holiday mischief and felony abduction lead to romance, in this ABC Family Network Christmas movie.
Christmas Horror Cavalcade!
In this classic episode, we take a look at a stocking full of Christmas themed horror movies - some naughty and some nice. Featuring Christmas Evil, Black Christmas, Bloodbeat, Silent Night Deadly Night and Dead End.
The Star Wars Holiday Special 1978
What more can be said about this legendary, infamous TV special from 1978? We find a few more things to say!
(plus Eric's Bob Fosse choreography for Bea Arthur's Cabaret-style goodnight song) Hot-cha!
Under Siege
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1992 Steven Seagal action movie, Under Siege! The filmmakers get extra credit for accuracy when it comes to Navy stuff. Also, forecastle.
The Batwoman (1968)
Beat your face to the gods for the Fishman!
Can't Stop the Music
In this classic episode, we discuss the ultimate Cinema Supercollider Thanksgiving tradition - Can't Stop the Music! It's full of hokey comedy and the Village People singing super catchy tunes. Get yourself a big plate of cheesy goodness - but beware of the contact lenses in the lasagna.
The Master of Disguise
This Dana Carvey vehicle is widely considered to be one of the worst films of all time. On the plus side though, he gets slapped in the face SO MANY TIMES.
The Wicker Man
In this classic episode, we take a look at The Wicker Man - both the original 1973 version with Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee as well as the 2006 re-make starring Nicolas Cage! One of them is probably the most successful folk horror film of all time and the other has a man in a bear costume punching women and screaming about bees.
Five Nights At Freddy's (2023)
The smash hit film based on the smash hit lore, based on the smash hit video game from a decade ago. Freddy Fazbear and Peter Malort fight it out in a old Showbiz pizza parlor while Eric and Megan fight their way through all the looooooore.
Tabloid (2010)
A story no one would believe, except it's true
Eraserhead
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1977 David Lynch film, Eraserhead! Henry Spencer tries to survive his industrial environment, his angry girlfriend, and the unbearable screams of his newly born mutant child. Eric and Megan discuss the nature of art in film.
Ape vs Monster
This "mockbuster' from Asylum Productions tells the age old story of a genetically modified ape from space that is pitted against a giant gila monster by aliens from the Andromeda galaxy. Less stuff happens than you might think.
ALSO, Megan and Eric rate the monsters and the films they were in.
The Bride Of Frankenstein
Two mad scientists team up to create a mate for the (mostly) failed Frankenstein's monster. Big hair and hissing follows.
They Live
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1988 sci fi/horror film They Live, starring Roddy Piper and Keith David! A loner discovers a terrifying secret about the ruling class when he dons a pair of special sunglasses.
Ghidorah The Three Headed Monster
Brother and sister, a cop, and a reporter, team up to unravel the mystery of the prophet from Venus. Who is she? What is she? Why is she here? Why are her predictions of doom all coming true? And a bunch of Kaiju monsters fight!
Attack of the Giant Leeches
Classic episode! When people start disappearing in the Florida Everglades, a game warden and a local doctor set out to find the bloodsucking monsters responsible (it's leeches, really really big ones).
The Giant Gila Monster
A rock-n-rolla, deuce-coupe, car mechanic gang leader saves his Arizona town from the ravages of a giant Mexican beaded lizard, all the while courting his French Miss Universe girlfriend, and helping his polio-stricken little sister.
Sure, you've seen it before, but have you seen it done with ukulele gospel songs and body shop percussion jams?
I THINK NOT!
(h/t J. B. Briggs)
Dead Ant
Jake Busey as dollar store Brett Michaels does a star turn in this comedy horror gem.
Over the Top
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1987 arm wrestling movie Over the Top, starring Sylvester Stallone and Robert Loggia! If you've ever wondered what goes into a double elimination professional arm wrestling competition before, this film will go into confusing detail for the entirety of the third act... and we still have no clue what's going on.
Head Of The Family
In this Charles Band comedy/horror picture, the Stackpool family is quadruplets, each of whom has special powers. One has super senses, one has super strength, one has boobies, and one is a giant head, the titular "Head Of The Family."
When a local dirtbag tries to blackmail Myron (the head) he has other plans.
Silent Running
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1972 environmental science fiction film, Silent Running starring Bruce Dern! In a future where all flora is extinct on Earth, orders are given to destroy the last of Earth's botany, but one man, along with his robot companions, makes a stand to save the plants.
Runaway
Tom Selleck is a future cop with acrophobia who gets drawn into a cyber-mystery in this sci-fi, action film from the '80s. Written and directed by Michael Chriton and featuring Gene Simmons from Kiss as the bad guy.
Earth Girls Are Easy
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1988 sci fi rom com, Earth Girls Are Easy! Three furry aliens crash into Geena Davis' swimming pool and shenanigans ensue. Also, shirtless Jeff Goldblum made a significant impression on young Megan. Just sayin'.
Anaconda
Jon Voight and an all-star cast hunt for a giant snake in the Amazon.
Goin' Coconuts
In this classic episode, we take a look at the 1978 Donny and Marie Osmond movie, Goin’ Coconuts! It’s a little bit of that one episode of the Brady Bunch when they went to Hawaii and a little bit of the Beatles’ film, Help, but with 100% more wholesome 1970s Osmond goodness. Megan was a little disappointed in the level of goons, but we were very impressed at Marie Osmond’s scream queen abilities.
Freejack
Race car driver Emilio Estevez wakes up in the not-too-distant future of 2009 and finds himself playing hide-and-seek with Mick Jagger, Mike from Breaking Bad, & Anthony Hopkins.